The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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