my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
