As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
