Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
