People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
