i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
