We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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