I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
