Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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