and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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