You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
