So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
