I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
