why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
