ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
