does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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