he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
