I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
