We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
