If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
