He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
