Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Hippo gnu deer
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
