did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I didn't shave. On purpose
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Randomize
