we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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