I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
