i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
