Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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