Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
