this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
