A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i used baking grease as lip gloss
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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