butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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