so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize