My liver just broke up with me...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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