Porn is love you can see.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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