He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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