His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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