dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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