break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
