A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
she looked like the before picture.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
