I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The feeling are messing with the penis
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
