I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
