He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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