Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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