Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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