His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
