The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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