i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
