Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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