you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
