If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
