I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
