lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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