he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
