I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
