Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
