can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
