i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i love accidental penises.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
