This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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