Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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