is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm like, not good at living.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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