...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
