omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
