i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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