You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize