Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
