My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
