About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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