He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
