The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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